Napoleon learning the English language (original grammar drills in Bonaparte's handwriting)

Avez-vous faim?
Are you hungry?

Êtes-vous en colère?
Are you angry?

Banished to the British island of St. Helena, Napoleon spent considerable time learning English. This playing card is an example of his grammar exercises. Above you can observe an attempt to grasp the difference between hungry and angry. Chances are, Napoleon's accent sounded very similar to the ex-emperor's portrayal in Woody Allen's Love and Death.



1. How do you do, sir - madam?
Comment vous portez-vous, Monsieur?

2. Bonjour, Monsieur - bonne nuit.
Good day, sir - good night.

3. D'où venez-vous?
From where do you come?

4. When did you leave England?
Quand êtes-vous parti d'Angleterre?

Gentleman with a muff

Portrait of William of Orange, demonstrating the use of a muff by gentlemen.

Walt Disney on Being a Celebrity

Walt Disney: Celebrity

Walt Disney is quoted as replying in this manner when asked how it felt to be a celebrity. "It feels fine, when it helps to get a good seat for a football game. But it never helped me to make a good film or a good shot in a polo game, or command the obedience of my daughter. It doesn't even seem to keep fleas off our dogs - and if being a celebrity won't give one an advantage over a couple of fleas, then I guess there can't be much in being a celebrity after all."

Harvard President's Joke

Storehouse of Knowledge

At a dinner held in his honor one evening, Harvard president Charles W. Eliot (1834-1926) several professors gave him much praise in their speeches. "Since you became president," one colleague enthusiastically remarked, "Harvard has become a storehouse of knowledge."

"What you say is true, but I can claim little credit for it," Eliot retorted. "It is simply that the freshmen bring so much in and the seniors take so little away!"

Jokes about Kings and Queens

The great British Cunard oceanliner Queen Mary was orginally to be called Queen Victoria. The head of the Cunard company explained to King George V that he wanted to name the ship after "the greatest of all English queens." Upon hearing this explanation the king replied, "Oh, my wife will be pleased."

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King Louis XI of France was a firm believer in astrology and yet he was somewhat uneasy when an astrologer accurately predicted the death of a lady at court. He felt the astrologer would be better off dead, so Louis called him to his apartments where his servants were ordered to throw him out the window once given the signal.

First, however, Louis asked the man a question, "You claim to understand astrology and to know the fate of others, so tell me what your fate will be and how long you have to live." The astrologer replied, "I shall die just three days before Your Majesty." This so unnerved the king that he decided to let the astrologer live.

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George V, an avid stamp collector, was with his private secretary one afternoon when his secretary remarked,"I see in The Times today that some damn fool has given fourteen hundred pounds for a single stamp at a private sale." The king replied, "I am that damn fool."

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For some time after the restoration of Charles the Second, young smooth-faced men performed the women's parts on the stage. That monarch, coming before his usual time to hear Shakespeare's Hamlet, sent the Earl of Rochester to know the reason of the delay; who brought word back, that the queen was not quite shaved. "Ods fish" (the king employed his usual expression), "I beg her majesty's pardon! we will wait till her barber is done with her."

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In 1649, René Descartes, a famous French philosopher and the author of the "Cogito ergo sum" principle, accepted the invitation of Queeen Christina of Sweden, who was deeply interested in philosophy, and traveled to Stockholm. As he explained to her majesty the basics of his mechanistic philosophy, comparing all living beings to mechanisms, the queen remarked that she had never heard of a watch giving birth to little baby watches.

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King Edward VII of Great Britain was quite a playboy in his day, and his wife, Queen Alexandra had often ignored his infidelities and wild escapades. As he lay on his deathbed, his faithful wife was grief stricken until one reassuring thought occurred to her. She turned to Lord Esher and remarked, "Now at least I know where he is."

Source: History Jokes and Andecdotes